Wednesday, June 17, 2015

A good choice...

I am one that doesn't always make good choices in life, unfortunately, however moving with my aunt has been a good one. I have to go back to NC the first part of July and then I am focusing on life again. I have been in limbo for so long now. Things are starting to look up. The kids are doing wonderful and I got to spend some time with them last weekend. I miss them terribly but know they are in good hands with my parents. The quicker I can make things better in life the quicker I can get back to them. I am really looking forward to what the future has in store for me. I know with God's help that I can really make a great fresh start with whatever I choose to do with my life from now on.

Monday, March 9, 2015

God puts people in our lives for a reason - Liz

September 8, 2014 was my live or die day. I survived through the day and ended up in the hospital and then somewhere no one want to be, jail. I have done a lot of things in my life that I regret and met a lot of different people. On September 11, 2014 the 1st sargent came down to the block to get me and pulled me into the attorney rooms and I was told that Tony hung himself in his cell. I am not sure if it was coming off of things or the will of not going back into that place or what, however when they took me to booking to wait on seeing his body I asked if someone in particular could come sit with me. I asked for Liz. She came up and sat and held me for hours. She let me cry on her shoulder, didn't judge me, and told me if I needed anything she would be there for me. I was sent up to booking and put into a room where they could keep an eye on me and was up there for a total of 7 weeks before I and my roomate came back down to the block, locked down for a total of 72 days. Liz was more of a momma to all of us girls in there and she did so much for me while she was there. She got out two days before Christmas and from there I did what I could to take over some of her rolls, making sure everyone was ok, if they needed anything do what I could and be there for any of the girls that needed someone to be there for them. I have had the opportunity here on the outside to meetup with her and have told her Thank you so many times but I truly am so thankful for her being there for me. I am sure I will be posting more to the post but wanted real quick to let her and my readers know there is always someone out there that can bring you out of the darkness and Liz was one of those who helped bring me out of the darkness. Love you Liz.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Danny Gokey - I Will Not Say Goodbye

Tony and I

This is a photograph of Tony and I a few years ago when things were great. Our story is sad and had many rocky roads before he passed away on September 11, 2014. I know that there were times that I was the only one who understood him. Things happen for a reason and God has kept me on this earth for my children. I miss them so much. I am planning on sitting down and writing about our story and how it all ended soon.

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud [Official Video]

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Lonestar - I'm Already There (Message From Home)

George Strait - I Cross My Heart (Official Music Video)

George Strait - Troubadour

George Strait - If I Know Me

Old Rugged Cross by Brad Paisley

Alabama - Angels Among Us

Zac Brown Band - Whatever It Is (Video)

For Dave...

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

Sugarland - Stay

Brooks & Dunn - Cowgirls Don't Cry

Reba McEntire - I Keep On Lovin' You

Good afternoon everyone. I feel like I should start by telling you all my story. 5 years ago I have everything, a husband of 10 years, two children 10 and 5 at the time, a successful photography business, the car, the house etc. and on March 29, 2010 that all came to a halt. On February 9, 2010 Dave was rear ended by another tractor trailer while bringing a load of bear home from NJ. He really wasn't hurt that bad, he banged up his left foot and knee when the other truck hit him. The weekend of March 26, I went to shoot the Ms. Wheelchair Virginia Gala weekend and Dave sounded like he was getting a cold, Saturday it was worse, Sunday even worse and I offered to take him to the hospital but you know how men are., and he refused. Monday morning on 3/29 he got up didn't feel well and asked me to reschedule his physical therapy., we got the kids on the bus and laid back down, he had a fever of 101.3 that morning but really you don't think about a fever like that hurting. He got up before me and when I woke up I went out into the living room to check on him and he was fine, so I told him I was going to edit photographs and that I would be back, I actually went back and forth a few times and the last time I told him that I would be back in about 45 mins, I was in the bedroom maybe 45 mins and when I came back to check on him he had passed away on our love seat., he literally had to pass when I left the room because he was already cold when I found him. That week was spring break week for us and the kids had school Monday and Tuesday., thank God they were at school and did not have to see their daddy like that. I had his memorial service on Good Friday, friends made me go to a George Strait concert that we had tickets for since Christmas, and then Sunday was easter. His cause of death was acute bronchial pneumonia. Six months later I met my second husband online, and he seemed like a wonder man, which he had his flaws of course. We stayed in Virginia for awhile, he of course had a record and had to register, and all my friends and family told me that he was not going to be good for me and hurt me, however I did love him, and was blind to what could happen. We moved to NC and then to SC, met some people who were into Heroin and other drugs and I had never done anything like that before, I had became 34 years old and never been in trouble in my life. September 2013 we were stopped in Myrtle Beach with 6 bags of heroin, and arrested, when my family came down from Virginia they took myself and my children back to Virginia to get away and I ended up going back to SC. My son had a mark on his leg where his step dad has hit him with a spatula, and we went to press charges, I ended up being arrested on those charges, and when I got out 4 days later - with my husband not knowing where I was for 2 days, the drug use started again, We were very addicted, we could do 50 bags in two days and 1-3 grams of crack a day., I went from a size 22 to a size 4 in a short time. We lost our house, was staying in hotels, then lost the car, got a rental and then ended up staying in it, doing what we could to get any money to stay unsick. On September 8 2014 we were involved in a high speed chase for 20 miles and he crashed into a gas station attempting to kill us. They took both of us to the hospital and then to jail. On September 11, 2014 Tony killed himself in jail by hanging. They were scared I was going to do the same thing and I was locked down for a total of 72 days. I have to thank the jail staff and a couple inmates for getting me through that time, On Sundays we had a few ladies come in and do church for us, I found my way to God and am so proud of myself to be here today. I spent 155 days in jail, now I don't know if I will have to go back and finish time here or not, or if I will have to do time in SC, but if I do then I will do it and get my life back. My children are safe with my parent in Virginia and have been for a year now. My family is very scared that I am going to relapse and going to end up dying. I know differently however. I am very lucky to have such good friends in my life now that will make sure I stay on the right path. One thing that got me through the 155 days in jail was my bible and Jeremiah 29:11. I hope it didn't sound like I was rambling, I just need all of the support that I can get., and its an everyday thing. If you would like to add me to your friends list please do so. Thank you for listening to me., and please keep me in your prayers, Ladies in the jail told me I was the strongest they had ever seen and making it through what I have. I hope I am that strong!